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吉米-法伦脱口秀

小草范文网  发布于:2016-10-22  分类: 脱口秀 手机版

篇一:英文脱口秀(美国笑话)

"The Obamas have a new White House dog. It is a Portuguese water dog named Bo. Bo arrived just in time, because Sasha and Malia were getting tired of throwing Frisbees at Joe Biden." --Jimmy Fallon

“奥巴马一家有了一只新的白宫第一狗,是一只葡萄牙水犬,名字叫波。波的到来非常及时,因为萨沙和玛利亚都对朝乔·拜登扔飞盘感到腻歪了。”——吉米·法伦

"How about that Obama dog? They got a new dog. Yeah, a little

Portuguese water dog. And the dog, as you would expect, is not house broken yet. In fact, earlier today, he left a bigger mess in the Oval Office than Bush did." --David Letterman

“奥巴马的狗怎么样?他们有了一只新狗,对,一只小的葡萄牙水犬。这只狗呢,正如你们期望的那样,还没有被训练好。事实上,今天的早些时候,它在椭圆办公室留下的一坨屎比布什留下的大多了。”——大卫·莱特曼

"Barack Obama's daughters are very smart. They told him they will take the same responsibility for the dog that he is taking for the economy. That way, if the dog leaves a mess in the White House, it'll be cleaned up by future generations." --Jay Leno

“巴拉克·奥巴马的女儿们非常聪明,她们告诉他说她们愿意像他对经济负责一样对小狗负责。这也就是说,如果这只狗在白宫拉便便,我们要等未来几代人来清理干净。”

"Actually, this has become a first family tradition. All the first families have had a dog. The Obamas have Bo, that's the name of the dog. The Bushes had Barney. The Clintons, of course, had Bill ." --Jay Leno“事实上,这已经变成了第一家庭的传统。所有的第一家庭都有只狗。奥巴马家有了波,这是这只狗的名字。布什家有巴尼。克林顿家么,当然,有比尔。”"And you know they have Bo wearing one of those electronic collars. If he strays beyond the perimeter of the White House grounds he gets a little buzz. That's to make sure he doesn't -- no, wait a minute, that's Joe Biden." --David Letterman

“大家都知道他们让波戴上了电子狗链。如果它走出白宫周围它就会有点麻。用这个来确保他不会——不对,等一下,那是乔·拜登。”——大卫·莱特曼"This Wednesday, April 15th, taxes are due, but people who work for President Obama are busy doing their taxes for 1998, '99, 2000." --Jay Leno

“这个星期三,4月15日,是交税的日子,但是为奥巴马总统工作的人都在忙着做他们98年、99年和2000年的税。”——杰·雷诺

"Some Americans did a very dumb thing today. They had tea party protests. They've been mailing tea bags to Congress to I guess express their dissatisfaction with taxes and government spending because nothing shakes a politician up like a complimentary bag of tea. 'Hey if you don't straighten up next year, crumpets, buddy.'" --Jimmy Kimmel

“一些美国人今天做了一件非常愚蠢的事情。他们举行了“茶党”抗议,一直在往国会寄茶包,我猜他们是想表达他们对税收和政府开支的不满,因为没有什么能比一个赠送的茶包更能动摇一个政客了:‘嘿,伙计,要是你们明年再不改,我们就寄煎饼。’”——吉米·卡莫

"And a lot of protests today. Thousands of people had these tea parties, during which they protested higher taxes. But here in LA, it was called the Green Herbal Double Decaf Tea Party." --Jay Leno

“今天有很多起抗议。数千人都召集了各自的茶党来抗议高税收。但是在洛杉矶这里,茶党被叫做双份浓缩绿茶党。”——杰·雷诺

"This is like the Boston tea party for people that decided, let's say, I don't know, two and a half months ago, that they didn't want to pay taxes anymore. The tea part is just a metaphor [on screen: a Fox News reporter pointing to boxes at one of the tea parties containing a million tea bags]. Let me get this straight. To protest wasteful spending, you bought a million tea bags. Are you protesting taxes or irony?" --Jon Stewart, on the tea party protests (Watch video clip)

“对于那些早在??我不知道,也许两个半月前就决定的人们来说,这就像当年的波士顿茶党不想再交税一样。茶包这个部分只是一个暗喻。【屏幕上, 福克斯新闻的一个记者指出,一处茶党抗议需要一百万个茶包。】咱们直说了吧,你们要抗议浪费性开支,然后你们买了一百万个茶包。你们是想抗议税收啊还是在 玩黑色幽默啊?”——乔·斯图尔特

"This pirates stuff is unbelievable, but the Obama administration is getting high marks for the way they handled the rescue situation this weekend, or the military did. But with all the problems we have right now, who would have guessed that on top of everything else our new president would have to deal with pirates? What's next? A dragon? Ghosts?" --Jimmy Kimmel

“海盗的猖獗是让人难以置信的,但是奥巴马政府正被高度赞许,因为周六他们处理营救事宜的事情,要么就是因为军队的表现。但是我们现在面临这么多

麻烦,谁能猜到我们的新总统在所有问题中不得不先处理的是海盗呢?下一个问题会是什么?一条龙?小鬼儿?”——吉米·卡莫

"And as you know, that captain of the merchant ship that was held captive by three Somali pirates was rescued when the pirates were shot and killed by a group of Navy Seals. President Obama authorized the military to use any force necessary to accomplish this. And today, the CEOs of Ford, Chrysler and GM said, 'We'll build any car you want.'" --Jay Leno

“就像你们知道的的那样,被三个索马里海盗抓住的商船船长获救了,海盗们被一队海军击毙。奥巴马总统授权给军队为达成这一目标可以使用任何必要的武力。然后今天,福特、克莱斯勒和通用的CEO们说,‘我们能造出任何你想要的车。’”——杰·雷诺

"President Obama should get a big refund this year because he has a lot of dependents. AIG, Citibank, Morgan Stanley -- all dependents." --Jay Leno

“奥巴马总统今年应该能拿到很多退税,因为他要养活的太多。AIG,花旗、摩根士丹利——都得他养活。”——杰·雷诺(小编注:美国有退税的政策,一般来说家里孩子多拿到的退税也多。)

"President Barack Obama got quite a reception when he was in Europe last week. Did you see while he was visiting Germany, the crowd started chanting, 'Yes, we can! Yes, we can!' Pretty amazing, a bunch of Germans chanting, 'Yes, we can.' That has got to make the French a little nervous, huh?" --Jay Leno

“奥巴马总统上周在欧洲非常受礼遇。你们看没看见他出访德国的时候,人们开始呼喊,‘我们做得到!我们做得到!’让人非常惊讶,一群德国人在叫喊‘我们做得到!’这肯定会让法国人有点紧张哈。”——杰·雷诺

"The Obamas have a new White House dog. It is a Portuguese water dog named Bo. Bo arrived just in time, because Sasha and Malia were getting tired of throwing Frisbees at Joe Biden." --Jimmy Fallon

“奥巴马一家有了一只新的白宫第一狗,是一只葡萄牙水犬,名字叫波。波的到来非常及时,因为萨沙和玛利亚都对朝乔·拜登扔飞盘感到腻歪了。”——吉米·法伦

"How about that Obama dog? They got a new dog. Yeah, a little

Portuguese water dog. And the dog, as you would expect, is not house broken yet. In fact, earlier today, he left a bigger mess in the Oval Office than Bush did." --David Letterman

“奥巴马的狗怎么样?他们有了一只新狗,对,一只小的葡萄牙水犬。这只狗呢,正如你们期望的那样,还没有被训练好。事实上,今天的早些时候,它在椭圆办公室留下的一坨屎比布什留下的大多了。”——大卫·莱特曼

"Barack Obama's daughters are very smart. They told him they will take the same responsibility for the dog that he is taking for the economy. That way, if the dog leaves a mess in the White House, it'll be cleaned up by future generations." --Jay Leno

“巴拉克·奥巴马的女儿们非常聪明,她们告诉他说她们愿意像他对经济负责一样对小狗负责。这也就是说,如果这只狗在白宫拉便便,我们要等未来几代人来清理干净。”

"Actually, this has become a first family tradition. All the first families have had a dog. The Obamas have Bo, that's the name of the dog. The Bushes had Barney. The Clintons, of course, had Bill ." --Jay Leno“事实上,这已经变成了第一家庭的传统。所有的第一家庭都有只狗。奥巴马家有了波,这是这只狗的名字。布什家有巴尼。克林顿家么,当然,有比尔。”"And you know they have Bo wearing one of those electronic collars. If he strays beyond the perimeter of the White House grounds he gets a little buzz. That's to make sure he doesn't -- no, wait a minute, that's Joe Biden." --David Letterman

“大家都知道他们让波戴上了电子狗链。如果它走出白宫周围它就会有点麻。用这个来确保他不会——不对,等一下,那是乔·拜登。”——大卫·莱特曼"This Wednesday, April 15th, taxes are due, but people who work for President Obama are busy doing their taxes for 1998, '99, 2000." --Jay Leno

“这个星期三,4月15日,是交税的日子,但是为奥巴马总统工作的人都在忙着做他们98年、99年和2000年的税。”——杰·雷诺

"Some Americans did a very dumb thing today. They had tea party protests. They've been mailing tea bags to Congress to I guess express their dissatisfaction with taxes and government spending because nothing shakes a politician up like a complimentary bag of tea. 'Hey if you don't straighten up next year, crumpets, buddy.'" --Jimmy Kimmel

“一些美国人今天做了一件非常愚蠢的事情。他们举行了“茶党”抗议,一直在往国会寄茶包,我猜他们是想表达他们对税收和政府开支的不满,因为没有什么能比一个赠送的茶包更能动摇一个政客了:‘嘿,伙计,要是你们明年再不改,我们就寄煎饼。’”——吉米·卡莫

"And a lot of protests today. Thousands of people had these tea parties, during which they protested higher taxes. But here in LA, it was called the Green Herbal Double Decaf Tea Party." --Jay Leno

“今天有很多起抗议。数千人都召集了各自的茶党来抗议高税收。但是在洛杉矶这里,茶党被叫做双份浓缩绿茶党。”——杰·雷诺

"This is like the Boston tea party for people that decided, let's say, I don't know, two and a half months ago, that they didn't want to pay taxes anymore. The tea part is just a metaphor [on screen: a Fox News reporter pointing to boxes at one of the tea parties containing a million tea bags]. Let me get this straight. To protest wasteful spending, you bought a million tea bags. Are you protesting taxes or irony?" --Jon Stewart, on the tea party protests (Watch video clip)

“对于那些早在??我不知道,也许两个半月前就决定的人们来说,这就像当年的波士顿茶党不想再交税一样。茶包这个部分只是一个暗喻。【屏幕上, 福克斯新闻的一个记者指出,一处茶党抗议需要一百万个茶包。】咱们直说了吧,你们要抗议浪费性开支,然后你们买了一百万个茶包。你们是想抗议税收啊还是在 玩黑色幽默啊?”——乔·斯图尔特

"This pirates stuff is unbelievable, but the Obama administration is getting high marks for the way they handled the rescue situation this weekend, or the military did. But with all the problems we have right now, who would have guessed that on top of everything else our new president would have to deal with pirates? What's next? A dragon? Ghosts?" --Jimmy Kimmel

“海盗的猖獗是让人难以置信的,但是奥巴马政府正被高度赞许,因为周六他们处理营救事宜的事情,要么就是因为军队的表现。但是我们现在面临这么多麻烦,谁能猜到我们的新总统在所有问题中不得不先处理的是海盗呢?下一个问题会是什么?一条龙?小鬼儿?”——吉米·卡莫

"And as you know, that captain of the merchant ship that was held captive by three Somali pirates was rescued when the pirates were shot and killed by a group of Navy Seals. President Obama authorized the military to use any force necessary to accomplish this. And today, the CEOs of Ford, Chrysler and GM said, 'We'll build any car you want.'" --Jay Leno

“就像你们知道的的那样,被三个索马里海盗抓住的商船船长获救了,海盗们被一队海军击毙。奥巴马总统授权给军队为达成这一目标可以使用任何必要的武力。然后今天,福特、克莱斯勒和通用的CEO们说,‘我们能造出任何你想要的车。’”——杰·雷诺

篇二:雅思阅读材料之吉米鸡毛秀

智课网IELTS备考资料

雅思阅读材料之吉米鸡毛秀

您当前的位置 ? 智课教育官网 ? 雅思 ? 雅思阅读 ? 文章正文

出国英语考试有哪些 雅思6.5是什么水平 雅思阅读评分标准 托福阅读评分标准 雅思和托福的区别

A Kimmel clip has sparked some criticism, angering several thousand people. A video that aired last week has gone viral in China and also among Chinese-Americans after one of the children Kimmel was speaking to said the U.S. should “kill everyone in China.”

一段脱口秀节目《吉米鸡毛秀》的视频引起争议,激起了数千人公愤。在上周美国广播公司播出的脱口秀节目《吉米鸡毛秀》中,出现“杀光中国人”言论。这段视频很快在中国和美国华人群体中引起了震动。

During the skit, Kimmel sat down with four 6- and 7-year old children in a segment called “Kid’s Table” to get their take on American politics. In reference to the recent government shutdown, two of the children understood it as the closure of the country’s national parks.

在节目中,吉米与4名6、7岁的儿童围坐桌前,召开“儿童圆桌会议”,让孩子们讨论美国时事政治。关于最近发生的美国政府关门事件,其中两名儿童认为政府关门就是国家中央公园关门了。

The conversation moved toward the $1.3 trillion U.S. debt owed to China, when Kimmel asked the children what they think an appropriate solution would be. One child suggested that the U.S. build a huge wall so that Chinese wouldn’t be able to come and collect, and while another suggested eliminating the debt by killing the Chinese.

然后话题转移到美国欠中国1.3万亿债务问题,吉米问孩子们他们认为有什么适合的方法可以解决这个问题。一个孩子建议美国建一堵高墙、阻挡中国人前来收债,而另一个孩子则建议杀光中国人来取消债务。

Now, Kimmel’s show is under attack by many who feel the outrageous comment should have never made it to air.

现在许多人对吉米的节目进行谴责,认为这样的侮辱性言论本不应该播出。

One person offended enough to open up a White House petition aiming to “investigate Jimmy Kimmel Kid’s Table government shutdown show on ABC network.”

一些激愤的公众对此事向白宫请愿,希望政府“调查美国广播公司脱口秀节目‘吉米鸡毛秀’政府关门相关一集”。

The petition, which is listed as a "human rights" issue, has since gained more than 28,000 signatures.

这一请愿被美国政府列为“人权”事宜一列,截止到10月24日,超过2.8万名网友在白宫网页请愿。

篇三:双语:脱口秀娱乐节目笑话精选

事情的起因是这样的,哈佛教授亨利·路易斯·盖茨某次归家,发现进不去家门了,不知道是不是美国没有开锁公司,这位教授就和司机一起决定破门而入。估计这位教授平时一直闷头搞研究不太出门,所以邻居也不太认识他,看到有人闯门就报警了。于是克劳力警官就赶来逮捕了教授。本来说清楚也就没事了,问题在于是一个白人警察逮捕了一个黑人教授,最后还被证明抓错了。于是引起了轩然大波,教授说警察种族歧视,警察说教授威胁他自己依法办案没什么错。最后的解决办法就是奥巴马请两人到白宫召开“啤酒峰会”,大家坐在一起,喝点小酒聊聊家常最好就大事化小小事化无了。于是这件事成了上周被谈论的热点问题。

"To ease tensions, President Obama has invited Harvard Professor Hey Louis Gates and the police officer who arrested him to join him for a hm.y88823.combeer at the White House. And if that works out, Obama's going to have Ahmadinejad and Netanyahu over for Jaegerbombs." --Conan O'Brien

为了缓解紧张局面,奥巴马总统请了哈佛教授亨利·路易斯·盖茨和逮捕了教授的警察到白宫一起喝杯啤酒。如果这有效的话,奥巴马就会请艾哈迈德-内贾德和内塔尼亚胡一起来点红牛。——柯南·奥布莱恩

"He invited the professor and the cop to come to the White House on Thursday for beer. Alcohol usually cools things off. Have you noticed that? That's where you want to go." --David Letterman 他请了教授和警察周四一起到白宫喝啤酒。酒精总是会冷却一切。你注意到那个问题了吗?这就是你想去某个地方的原因。——大卫·莱特曼

"They had the big beer summit earlier tonight at the White House. President Obama had a beer with Harvard Professor Hey Louis Gates and the policeman who arrested him. The meeting got off to a rough start when a neighbor called the police to say Gates was breaking into the White House." --Conan O'Brien

他们今晚在白宫举行了一个大型啤酒峰会。奥巴马总统和哈佛教授亨利·路易斯·盖茨还有那个逮捕他的警察。会议的开始很艰难,因为一个邻居打电话给警察说盖茨正在闯入白宫。——柯南·奥布莱恩

"Big beer fest at the White House. And today, Obama sent Vice President Biden on an emergency goodwill mission for pretzels, so that will be good." --David Letterman

白宫的一个啤酒盛会。然后今天,奥巴马派副总统乔·拜登出席一个紧急的椒盐脆饼干亲善任务,所以这应该挺好的。——大卫·莱特曼

"Of course, President Obama has invited Harvard Professor Hey Louis Gates and the policeman who arrested him to the White House. Reportedly, Obama is going to serve them Budweiser. And in the spirit of racial harmony, Budweiser is changing its nickname from the 'King of Beers' to the 'Martin Luther King of Beers.'" --Conan O'Brien

当然啦,奥巴马总统已经邀请了哈佛教授亨利·路易斯·盖茨和那个逮捕他的警察一起到白宫。据报道,奥巴马将用百威啤酒招待他们。在种族和睦的精神下,百威的别称从“啤酒之王”改成了“啤酒中的马丁·路德·金”。——柯南·奥布莱恩

"People were so fascinated by what beer they were drinking. Apparently Gates had Red Stripe, Crowley had Blue Moon, and Obama, just to screw with the conservatives, had a 40 of King

Cobra." --Bill Maher

人们都对他们喝的啤酒着迷了。很显然盖茨喝的是牙买加红带,克劳力的是蓝月,而奥巴马,为了给保守派们添添乱,喝的是40盎司的蛇王啤酒。——比尔·马赫

"The police officer, Officer Crowley ... apparently, he said Hey Louis Gates was threatening. And by threatening, of course, he meant he was an educated black hm.y88814.comman." --Bill Maher 这位警官、克劳力警官,显然,他曾经说过亨利·路易斯·盖茨曾经威胁他。而这个威胁,很显然,他的意思是他是一个受过教育的黑人。——比尔·马赫

"So, I don't know if this is a case of racism. The police in Cambridge say it had nothing to do with Gates being black. They said they would have given the same treatment to any minority." --Bill Maher

所以,我也不知道这是不是种族主义的官司。剑桥市警察说这和盖茨是不是黑人完全无关。他们说他们会给任何少数派同等的待遇。——比尔·马赫

最近可能都没什么大事情发生,于是一些人很闲,翻出总统出生地的老问题,说奥巴马是秘密出生在肯尼亚的,不应该当美国总统,最近白宫的回应就是把总统的出生纸放到网上给大家看。

"But it's all coming out okay, because Obama today spoke to Officer Crowley on the phone. He said he was a good man, a good policeman, and they could find common ground. Although he did find it strange at the end of their conversation that Crowley demanded to see his birth certificate." --Bill Maher

但是这些最后都没事了,因为奥巴马今天和克劳力警官通电话了。他说他是个好人,是个好警察,他们一定能找到一些共同点。尽管在谈话的最后事情变的有点奇怪了,克劳力警官要求看他的出生证明。——比尔·马赫

"The birthers believe that the president was secretly born in Kenya. ... I always thought he was born in a manger in Jerusalem." --Jimmy Kimmel

这些出生派们相信总统是秘密出生在肯尼亚的。??我总以为他是出生在耶路撒冷的马厩里的。——吉米·卡莫

"More than you might expect, actually, apparently there was a group of Americans who did not believe that Barack Obama was born in the United States and therefore should not be president. They're called 'birthers.' They are. The birthers want Obama's election to be invalidated, which, I'm not sure what their goal is. Are they aware that Joe Biden would be the president?" --Jimmy Kimmel

这简直太出乎意料了,事实上,很明显有一部分美国人不相信巴拉克·奥巴马是在美国出生的,认为他不应该成为美国的总统。他们被叫做“出生派”,是的。这些出生派们希望奥巴马的选举被废除,我也不知道他们的目的是啥,他们有没有发觉乔·拜登可能当总统啊?——吉米·卡莫

"Only 42 percent of Republicans believe Obama was born in the United States. That's an amazing statistic. How come in America Christians are xo.k0095.comthe only ones who won't take

anything on faith?" --Bill Maher

只有百分之四十二的共和党人相信奥巴马出生在美国,这是个惊人的数字。在美国,怎么会只有基督教徒不会在信仰上附加什么东西。——比尔·马赫

"Sarah Palin resigned a year-and-a-half before her term ends because she didn't want Alaska to have a lame-duck governor. Now, she has a book deal presumed to be worth millions. And I cannot wait to read it. I believe on the tenth page, she decides since the book is going to end anyway, to leave the last two hundred pages blank." -Stephen Colbert

莎拉·佩林在她任职期满的前一年半辞职了,因为她说她不想让阿拉斯加有一个跛脚鸭州长。现在,她有一份价值上百万美元的出书生意。我等不及要读这本书了,我相信在第十页她会决定,这本书反正都会写完,就把剩下的两百页留白好了。——斯蒂芬·科尔伯特

"If conservatives get to call universal healthcare 'socialized medicine,' I get to call private, for-profit healthcare 'soulless, vampire bastards making money off human pain.'" --Bill Maher 如果保守主义者把全民医保叫做“社会化医疗”,我就把私人的、营利的医疗叫做“没心肝的,依托于人类痛苦赚钱的吸血鬼。”——比尔·马赫

"Big news up in Alaska. Sarah Palin will formally step down as governor on Sunday, leaving us completely unprotected from the Russians." --Jimmy Kimmel

阿拉斯加的大消息啊,莎拉·佩林周日正式下台了。留下我们在俄罗斯人面前毫无防备。——吉米·卡莫

"Members of the Senate are considering a tax on cosmetic surgery. When they brought it up, you should have seen the look that Nancy Pelosi's face tried to make." --Conan O'Brien

参议员的成员们正在考虑对整容征税,当他们提起这件事的时候,你真应该看看南希·佩洛西想做出的表情。——柯南·奥布莱恩

"Opponents of President Obama's healthcare plan point out that people in other countr

吉米-法伦脱口秀

ies sometimes have to wait in line for healthcare, which Americans would never accept. Here, we only wait in line for stuff that's important, like iPhones and "Grand Theft Auto 4." --Jimmy Kimmel 奥巴马总统医疗计划的反对者们指出其他国家的人有时不得不排队看病,这是美国人民不能接受的。在美国,咱们只为一些重要的东西排队,比如iphone和侠盗猎车手4.——吉米·卡莫

"Yesterday, of course, on Fox News commentator Glenn Beck said that he believes President Obama is a racist. Well, to be fair, every time you xo.k0096.comwatch Glenn Beck, it does get a little easier to hate white people." --Conan O'Brien

昨天,当然是在福克斯新闻台,新闻评论员格伦·贝克说他认为奥巴马总统是个种族主义者。好吧,公平点说,你每看格伦·贝克一次,就很容易更讨厌白人一点。——柯南·奥布莱恩

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