篇一：奥巴马为脱口秀失言道歉一托福阅读机经背景
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奥巴马为脱口秀失言道歉一托福阅读机经背景
President Barack Obama has apologized for a gaffe in which he described his bowling skills as akin to participants in the Special Olympics, a sports program for people with intellectual disabilities.
Obama made the mistake during an interview on Thursday night on "The Tonight Show" with host Jay Leno, the first time a sitting U.S. president had been on the show.
Talking about living in the White House, Obama said he had been practicing his bowling in the home's bowling alley and had scored a 129 out of a possible 300.
It was an improvement on the embarrassing 37 he had rolled during a stop on the presidential campaign trail a year ago.
"It's like -- it was like Special Olympics or something," Obama said.
The Special Olympics is a global nonprofit organization serving some 200 million people with intellectual disabilities, with a presence in nearly 200 countries worldwide.
Soon after the Jay Leno interview, Obama telephoned Special Olympics chairman Tim Shriver to apologize.
Shriver told ABC's "Good Morning America" television show that Obama had apologized "in a way that I think was very moving" and that he said "he did not intend to humiliate the population, didn't want to embarrass or give anybody any more reason for pain or kind of suffering."
Shriver said people should gain a lesson from the incident.
"I think it's important to see that words hurt. Words do matter. And these words in some respect, can be seen as humiliating or aput-down to people with special needs, do cause pain. And they do result in stereotypes," Shriver said.
White House spokesman Bill Burton said Obama "made an offhand remark making fun of his own bowling that was in no way intended to disparage the Special Olympics."
"He thinks that the Special Olympics are a wonderful program that gives an opportunity to shine to people with disabilities from around the world," Burton said
美国总统奥巴马日前(在接受采访时)自嘲保龄球技与特奥会运动员差不多，之后他为自己的这番言论道歉。特奥会是专门为智障人士举行的体育赛事。
奥巴马于上周四晚接受杰伊?莱诺主持的《今夜秀》节目的采访时犯了这个错误，这是美国历史上首位在任总统做客该节目。
在谈及白宫生活时，奥巴马说他一直在家中的保龄球场练习打保龄，有一次打出了129分(满分300分)的成绩。
这与一年前他在总统竞选期间只得到37分的糟糕成绩相比可谓进步不小。
奥巴马说：“我的保龄球技和特奥会(运动员)差不多。”
特奥会是一个国际性的非赢利组织，服务于全球近200个国家的约2亿名智障人士。
节目录制完不久，奥巴马就打电话给特奥会主席蒂姆?施立弗致歉。
施立弗在接受ABC电视台《早安美国》节目的采访时说，奥巴马“道歉的方式在我看来十分感人”，他说“他无意侮辱特奥会运动员，没想羞辱任何人或给任何人带来痛苦或伤害。”
施立弗说，人们应该从这件事中吸取教训。
他说：“我认为重要的是人们要意识到言语会伤人。遣词造句很重要。这些言语从某一角度看可以被视为是对特殊人群的侮辱或贬低，会对他们造成伤害，还会引起偏见。”
白宫发言人比尔?伯顿说，奥巴马是在“自嘲自己的保龄球技时即兴说出了这番话，绝对没有藐视特奥会的意思”。
伯顿说：“他认为特奥会是一个了不起的体育赛事，为世界各地的残障人士提供了一个展示自己的机会。”
Vocabulary:
akin:having a similar quality or character; analogous(类似的;相似的)
put-down:贬低(或奚落)的行为
offhand: without preparation or forethought; extemporaneously. (未经准备地：没有准备或事先思考;即席地)
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篇二：奥巴马怒闯脱口秀现场 坐主持台讲段子
奥巴马怒闯脱口秀现场 坐主持台讲段子
据外媒报道，当地时间8日晚，美国总统奥巴马现身美国著名深夜脱口秀“科伯特报告”，客串当了一把主持人。同时，奥巴马还与主持人史蒂芬·科伯特舌战一番，自嘲的同时不忘谈论家庭以及近期他受到的众多挫折等问题。图为当主持人史蒂芬·科伯特正在批评奥巴马医改法案时，奥巴马突然冲上主持台。
奥巴马说：“你刚刚把我批得狗血淋头，我打算上来好好还击一番。要不然你先让让？”奥巴马与科伯特在现场妙语连珠，他在科伯特主持桌后坐下前，话说得坦白：“你们老针对我的工作乱放炮，我决定了，不管，我也要骂骂你们的工作。”奥巴马接着假装是科伯特说：“如大家所知，我，史蒂芬·科伯特，从来都不喜欢我们的总统……那家伙太自大了，我猜他会以第三人称谈论自己。”此言论引来大笑与如雷掌声。
随后科伯特重回主持台向奥巴马发问，奥巴马在节目中透露妻女常常挑剔自己。他说“确实让我很难堪”，但妻子米歇尔和两个女儿对他要求严格是为了让他保持低调。
据报道，奥巴马常常上白天与晚间的谈话性节目，希望争取特定选民支持，包括类似“科伯特报告”等电视节目的主要收视族群都是年轻人。科伯特按照共和党的说法，形容奥巴马是“皇帝”，意指他过度
使用行政权力，自行发布移民政策改革而遭到外界批评。奥巴马则说，对于他是不是个好总统的问题，应该留给后人评价，总之不是科伯特。 在谈到遭受巨大挫败的中期选举时，奥巴马承认，中期选举没有达到他的理想结果。当被问及为何年轻人都不愿意去投票时，奥巴马变得较为严肃起来，说“我认为他们被华盛顿所发生的一切而干扰。”科伯特不忘开玩笑说，美国就业市场有所好转，是因为总统雇佣了那么多“国防部长”(指防长哈格尔辞职和提名新防长卡特一事)，奥巴马承认说“确实促进了一些就业增长”。
科伯特还要奥巴马确认总统知道的其中一套核弹发射密码，“到底5是不是其中一个数字？”当然，奥巴马没答应。据报道，这是奥巴马第3次上“科伯特报告”，总统任内则是第2次。
《科尔伯特报告》(The Colbert Report，又译为扣扣熊报告)，从2005年开始播出，主持人史蒂芬·科伯特（Stephen Colbert），擅长政治幽默，他是电视艾美喜剧提名的主持和执行制片。图为美国总统奥巴马现身美国著名深夜脱口秀“科伯特报告”。
篇三：黄西在美国白宫晚宴上的脱口秀
黄西在美国记者年会晚宴上的表演（中英文解读）
Joe Wong at RTCA Dinner 2010 With Chinese Commentary
黄西是一名从中国大陆到美国的留学生，除了他专业的研究工作外，他还是最近美国新兴的一名脱口秀艺人。2009年，他因参加美国深夜节目收视率冠军的“大卫赖特曼秀”一炮而红。他独特的幽默方式在youtube上广受欢迎。本文是他在美国"电台电视记者协会"白宫年会上的表演片段。
Good evening, everyone. My name is Joe Wong. But to most people, I am known as "Who?" [Laughter] "Hu" is actually my mother's maiden name, [Laughter] and the answer to my credit card security question. [Laughter]
各位晚上好，我是Joe Wong（黄西）。但是对很多人来说，听到我的名字，会问“谁”?（看他的滑稽表情，观众笑），Who（同音“Hu”）恰恰是我妈的娘家姓（观众笑），也是我信用卡安全问题的答案。（和很多网站注册一样，美国的信用卡也会设置安全问题，比如“你妈妈姓什么”，“你家小狗叫什么”）
But joking aside, I just want to reassure everybody that I am invited here tonight. [Laughter] 但是玩笑归玩笑，我想让大家放心我今晚的确是受到邀请来的。（观众笑，这里是隐指Salah夫妇闯入白宫欢迎晚宴的新闻，大家可以搜索Michaele and Tareq Salahi）
I grew up in China. Who wouldn't? [Laughter]
我在中国长大。谁不是呢？（观众笑，这是用自己的自大讽刺美国人的自大）
As my childhood memories are totally ruined by my childhood. [Laughter] When I was in elementary school, as part of the curriculum, I have to worked at a rice paddy, right next to a quarry where they use explosives to break rocks. And that is where I learned that light travels faster than sound, [Laughter] which is almost as slow as a flying rock. [Laughter]
而我童年的所有记忆都被我的童年给毁了。（观众笑，思路怪异）读小学的时候，作为课程的一部分，我要去稻田里劳动，稻田的旁边是一个采石场，他们用炸药炸石头。也就是在那里，我知道了光的传播速度要比声音快（观众笑），而声音的速度就和石头飞的速度差不多慢。（观众笑）
My dad was a grumpy guy, but occasionally he would tried to cheer me up with jokes. But he doesn't do it right. When I was seven, one day he said to me, "Hi, son, why is tofu better than centralized socialist economy?" [Laughter] So, five minutes later, I said, "Why?"
[Laughter] He said, "Because I said so!" [Laughter]
我爸爸是个脾气很怪的人，但偶尔他也想用笑话来逗我玩儿。可是他又做不好。我七岁的时候，有一天他问我，“嘿，儿子，你说为什么豆腐比社会主义计划经济要好？”（观众笑，风马牛不相及）我想了五分钟，然后问他“为什么呢？”（观众笑），他说“因为我说好就是好！”（观众笑，笑点在于：豆腐，计划经济以及极端的父权。豆腐和经济放在一起本来就没有可比性，就好像这种“我说了算”的父权也根本不可理喻，让人又好气又好笑）
I came to the United States when I was 24, to study at Rice University in Texas. [Applause] That wasn't a joke, [Laughter] until now. [Laughter]
我24岁的时候来到美国，在Texas的Rice University求学。（观众鼓掌。）这不是个笑话（观众笑），不过现在是了。（观众笑）
And I was driving that a used car with a lot of bumper stickers that are impossible to peel off. And one of them said, "If you don't speak English, go home!" [Laughter] And I didn't notice it for two years. [Laughter]
我当时开了辆二手车，保险杠上贴了好多贴纸（就类似我们的“熊出没注意”那种），贴的很牢，就根本不可能撕下来。其中一张写着“如果你不说英文，就滚回家去”。（观众笑，这句话有歧视外来移民的意味）而我两年后才看到它。（观众笑）
And like many other immigrants, we wanted our son to become the president of this country. And we try to make him bilingual, you know, Chinese at home and English in the public. Which is really a tough to do, because many times I had to say to him in public, "Hi, listen, if you don't speak English, go home!" [Laughter]
和很多其他的移民一样，我们都希望自己的儿子能成为这个国家的总统。于是我们努力让他们说两种语言，在家说中文，在外说英文。但操作起来其实挺困难，很多时候我不得不在公共场合对他说：“嘿，听着，如果你不说英文，就滚回家去。”（观众笑，这里说明了该句子是一种教训儿子的口气）
And he was said to me, "Hi, Dad, Why do I have to learn two languages?" I said, "Son, once you become the president of the Unite States, you will have to sign legislative bills in English, and talk to debt collectors in Chinese!" [Laughter][Applause]
然后他问我：“爸爸，为什么我要学两个语言呢？”我就跟他说：“儿子，一旦有一天你成了美国总统，你就必须要用英文来签署法案，还要用中文跟讨债的对话。”（观众狂笑，并鼓掌；中国当前是美国的最大债主。）
When I graduated from Rice, I decided to stay in the Unite States, because in China I can't do the thing I do best here, being ethnic. [Laughter]
从Rice毕业后，我决定留在美国。因为在中国，我不可能有在这里干的最好的角色——一个少数民族。 And in order for me to become a US citizen, I had to take those American history lessons, where they ask questions like: Who's Benjamin Franklin? We were like, "Ahh.., the reason our convenient store gets robbed?" [Laughter]
我为了成为一名美国公民，必须要上美国历史课，会被问到诸如“是谁Benjamin Franklin？”我就想：“呃，莫非就是我们便利店遭到抢劫的原因？”（观众大笑，百元美钞上印着Benjamin Franklin的头像。）
What's the second Amendment? We were like, "Ahh.., the reason our convenient store gets robbed?"
[Laughter][Applause]
“什么是第二修正案？”我就想：“呃，莫非就是我们便利店遭到抢劫的原因？”（观众狂笑，第二修正案保障了人民的持枪权利）
What is Roe vs Wade? We were like, "Ahh& , two ways of coming to the Unite States?"
[Laughter][Applause]
“Roe vs. Wade是什么？”“呃！两种来美国的途径？”（Roe vs.Wade是美最高法院关于堕胎的经典案例。他在这里则是说那些偷渡到美国的人，要不就是通过row a boat（划船，和人名Roe同音）,要不就是靠游到河对岸（wade是跋涉的意思））
Later on, I read so much about American history that I started to harbor white guilt. [Laughter] 后来我读了很多的美国历史，以至于我都开始充满了白人罪恶感。（white guilt是指白人因为奴役黑人的历史而产生的负罪感。）
And in America, they say that all men are created equal, but after birth, it kind of depends on their parents' income for early education and healthcare. [Applause]
在美国，大家都说人人生而平等。但是出生后，或多或少要取决于父母收入，才能提供你的早期教育和医疗保障。（观众认同的笑）
I read in the Men's Health magazine that president Obama every week has two cardio days and 4 weight lifting days. You see, I don't have to exercise because I have health insurance.
[Laughter]
我在男人健康杂志里看到，奥巴马总统每周有两次有氧锻炼，四次举重锻炼。你们看，我根本不需要锻炼，因为我有健康保险。（这里说医保体系给人慵懒意识）
I live in Massachusetts now, where we had universal healthcare then we elected Scott Brown.
[Laughter] Talk about mixed messages! [Laughter] I think there was a movie about him. It's called "Kill Bill" [Laughter]
我现在住在麻省，我们有全面的医疗保险。然后我们选了Scott Brown当州长。哦，有歧义。我想有一部电影是关于他的，那就是《杀死比尔》（Kill Bill）。（bill在英文里有议案的意思，这里讽刺这名州长极力反对Obama的医保改革方案。）
I'm honored to eh.. meet vice president Joe Biden here tonight. em, I actually read
autobiography of you, and today I see you. I think the book is much better. [Laughter][Applause] They should have cast Brad Pitt, you know, or even Angelina Jolie. [Laughter]
我很荣幸今晚能见到副总统Joe Biden。事实上，我曾经读过你的自传。今天见到你了，我觉得书（比本人）要好的多（然后镜头就给了副总统，副总统笑的哈开心），他们应该请布拉德·皮特来演，或者是安吉丽娜·茱莉（观众大笑）。
So, I, to be honest, was really honored to be here tonight, and I have prepared for months eh, for tonight show, and I showed the White House my jokes about President Obama, and that is why he decided not to come. [Laughter] And he decide to talk about immigration reforms.
[Laughter] Take that Stephen Colbert! [Laughter]
坦率的说，我真的非常荣幸今天能应邀来到这里。为了今晚的节目我也准备了好几个月了。我还把关于奥巴马总统的笑话给白宫看，于是奥巴马总统就决定不出席今天的晚会了。他还决定要讨论移民政策改革了。Stephen Colbert, 给他记上。（Steve是专攻政治人物的政治评论家、主持人，总统总是拿他没办法）
And President Obama has always been accused of being too soft, but he was conducting two wars, and they still gave him the Nobel Peace Prize. and he accepted it. [Laughter] You can't be more badass than that. [Laughter][Applause] Well, actually, I'm thinking, the only way you can more badass than that, is if you take the Nobel Peace Prize money and give it to the military.
[Laughter]
奥巴马总统经常被指责为过于软弱。但是他正指挥着两场战争，并且他们还是授予他诺贝尔和平奖。而他也竟然接受了（观众大笑）。怎么可能有比这更操蛋的事情（观众大笑）。嗯，其实，我想，唯一可能比这个更操蛋的，就是你接受了诺贝尔和平奖的奖金，然后把它们送给军队。
We have many distinguished journalists here tonight, whom I consider as my peers. [Lau
[Laughter]
我们这里坐着很多杰出的新闻记者，我把你们看作是我的同行（也有贵族的意思，观众笑）。因为我曾经也给学校的报纸写过文章。我觉得新闻业是双关语最后的阵地了。因为只有在报纸上你才能看到类似于“我是属马的，所以你知道为什么我总是像马一样叫（唱反调）。”（美国人形容马叫的象声词是neigh，发音和nay一样，nay-sayer是总要唱反调的人）我表达的很准确。（观众笑）
And tonight is my first time on C-SPAN, which is a channel I obvious always watch when I couldn't stand the sensationalism and demagoguery of PBS and QVC. [Laughter] If I can't still fall asleep after watching C-SPAN, [Laughter] there are C-SPAN2 and C-SPAN3. [Laughter][Applause] Thank you very much! [Laughter][Applause]
今晚是我第一次出现在C-span频道，通常当我无法忍受PBS和QVC的鼓吹与煽动时我就会看这个频道（PBS的节目以主观著称，QVC则是购物频道）。如果我看了C-span还是睡不着，那还有C-span 2套和3套（C-span频道是国会辩论转播频道）。非常感谢！
So, I became a US citizen in 2008, eh, which I am really happy about.[Applause] oh, Thank you very much! eh. [Applause] America is number one! [Laughter] That's true! cause we won the World Series every year! [Laughter]
2008年，我正式成为了美国公民，为此我感到很高兴。（下面观众鼓掌）谢谢。美国是最牛的。这是真的，因为我们每年会赢世界职业棒球大赛（只有美国、加拿大的球队参加。）
After becoming a US citizen, and I immediately registered to vote for Obama and Biden. You are welcome. [Laughter] You had me at "Guess we can". [Laughter] That was their slogan.
[Laughter]
成为美国公民之后，我立刻就登记了大选，并投给了奥巴马和拜登。（他回头看着拜登，对拜登说）不用谢。你们的口号“猜想我们可以”征服了我。（观众笑）这是他们的口号。（观众大笑，此处故意将“Yes We Can”混淆成了“Guess We Can”。）
So, after getting Obama-Biden elected, I felt this power trip. [Laughter] and I started to think maybe I should run for president myself.
在奥巴马和拜登当选后，我感受到了权力的魅力。（观众笑）于是我就开始想，或许我也应该去竞选总统。
Well, I have to take a step back and explain a little bit. Because I had always been a morose and pessimistic guy. I feel that life is a kind of like pee into the snow in a dark winter night. You probably made a difference, but it's really hard to tell. [Laughter]
好吧，我多解释一下。我其实一直是一个忧郁并且悲观的人。我觉得生活就像是在漆黑的冬夜里往雪地上撒尿。你可能确实做得不一样，但你真的很难说出来。（观众大笑）
But now we have a president who is half black half white. That just gives me a lot of hope, because I am half not black half not white. [Laughter] Two negatives make a positive. [Laughter] 但是现在我们有了一位半黑半白的总统。这给了我很大的希望。因为我一半不黑一半也不白。双重否定更加肯定。（观众大笑，Obama母亲是白人，父亲是黑人移民）
You may be saying, hi, what would be your campaign slogan? You see, I spent 10 years in the past decade. [Laughter] Oh, you too? ok. [Laughter] So, I understand that American people are suffering. So, my campaign slogan will be, "Who cares?" (Hu Cares) [Laughter]
你或许会问：“嘿，那你的竞选口号是什么？”你看，过去的90年代里我度过了10年。什么，你也是？好吧。所以我很理解美国人所经历的痛苦。所以，我的竞选口号将会是“Hu Cares”（此处又是Who-Hu的谐音，Hu Cares：“胡关心你”Who Cares：“谁在乎你”。）
If elected, I will make same sex marriage not only legal, but required! [Laughter] 如果我当选，我不但会让同性恋结婚合法，还会让它必须。（观众笑）
That will give me the youth vote. [Laughter] You see I'm married now, but I used to be really scared about marriage. I was like, "Wow! 50% of all marriages end up lasting forever!"
[Laughter]
这会帮助我赢得年轻人的选票。你看我已经结婚了。但我过去对婚姻是非常恐惧的。我想：“哇，50％的婚姻结局是大家要在一起一辈子。”
And I will eliminate unemployment in this country by reducing the productivity of the American workforce. [Laughter] So, two people will have to do the work of one, just like the president and the vice president, [Laughter] or the Olson twins. [Laughter]
我也会通过降低美国工人的生产率来消灭这个国家的失业。所以必须让两个人做一个人能做的事，就好像总统与副总统，又或者是Olsen姐妹（她们是双胞胎，一起演真人秀，一起设计服装）。
And despite heart diseases and cancer, most Americans die of natural causes. So if elected, I will find a cure for natural causes. [Laughter] You seem to like that one. [Laughter] But you won't be covered by health insurance, you know. [Laughter] because of pre-existing conditions. [Laughter]
除去心脏病和癌症的因素，大多数美国人是自然死亡的。所以如果我当选，我会找出一种治愈自然死亡的疗法。你们看上去很喜欢这个。但是你们将不可能享受医疗保险，因为先前条款。（观众大笑）