篇一：April Fool 愚人节傻瓜
April Fool 愚人节傻瓜
Kevin sat up so quickly that he almost bumped1 his head on the shelf above his bed. Someone was pounding on his bedroom door.
"Kevin! It’s time to get up," he heard his sister calling. "Hurry up! You’ve slept in again."
Kevin stumbled2 to the door and yanked it open. April was standing in the hall.
"Hurry up!" she said. "You’re going to be late."
Kevin dashed past her and ran downstairs. The kitchen was empty. The house was dark and silent. As he switched on the light, he glanced at the clock. It was 6:00 a.m.! The calendar beside the refrigerator caught his eye. There was a big red circle around the first day of the month. Kevin let out a loud groan.
Behind him, April giggled. "April Fool!" she teased as Kevin spun around. "I got you, just like I promised." With that, she flipped3 into a handstand and looked at Kevin with an upside down grin.
Kevin turned and stomped upstairs. As he got back into bed, thoughts of his sister cartwheeled through his mind. April Bateman, expert gymnast and expert joke-player, was driving everyone crazy. She never walked when she could bounce, flip, or somersault4. She never missed an opportunity to play a joke on someone. And of course, April Fool’s Day was April’s favorite day of the year.
Later that morning, Mr. Bateman discovered that his shoes wouldn’t tie and his shaver wouldn’t shave. Someone had removed the laces from his shoes and the batteries from his shaver. Mrs. Bateman found a huge spider in the middle of the kitchen table. Before she realized that it was plastic, she dropped two soft-boiled eggs on the floor and knocked over a pitcher of orange juice. Kevin discovered that every one of his T-shirts had been turned inside out.
"Where’s April?" he asked when the family sat down to breakfast.
"She had an early gym practice," said his father.
"There’s a gymnastics competition at the Y this afternoon," his mother said as she buttered a slice of toast. "April has her heart set on winning a medal."
When Kevin came home at noon, his mother rushed into the kitchen. "Kevin, April’s gym coach phoned. The competition may have to be switched to a different location. If that happens, Mr. Boyer will phone back by 12:30." She paused to catch her breath. "It’s 12:00 now and I have to be at the office in fifteen minutes. If Mr. Boyer calls, leave me a note." She pointed to the note pad by the phone. "This is very important, Kevin. Be sure that you write down the message."
"Trust me, Mom," said Kevin. "I promise I’ll take care of it."
Shortly after his mother left, the phone rang. It was Mr. Boyer. "The competition has been switched from the Y to the Oakville Arena," he explained. Kevin wrote down the new address and directions. "Be sure to leave the note where your mother will see it, Kevin," he added.
"I’ll take care of it, Mr. Boyer. I promise," Kevin assured him.
Late that afternoon, Kevin came home from soccer practice. When he went into the den, April was sitting in the rocking chair, staring out the window. "How did the competition go?" he asked. "Did you win a medal?"
April looked up. Her face was red and tear-streaked. "No, I didn’t. I didn’t even have a chance to compete," she said in a shaky voice.
"What happened?" Kevin asked. "We were late and I was disqualified, thanks to your stupid joke!" April sniffed and tears ran down her cheeks.
Kevin stared at her. "What joke? What are you talking about?"
Suddenly their mother appeared in the doorway. She looked right at Kevin. "What happened to Mr. Boyer’s message?" she asked holding up a blank note pad.
Kevin’s eyes widened in surprise. "I wrote everything down like you told me to," he said.
His mother tapped the blank note pad. "Kevin, there’s nothing written here." She went on quickly. "When I came home and found this, I figured that the competition was at the Y as scheduled. So that’s where we went."
"But we were the only ones there," April interrupted. She glared at Kevin. "By the time we found out the competition had been switched, it was too late."
"Kevin, what happened to Mr. Boyer’s message?" his mother asked.
Kevin pointed to the note pad she was holding. "When Mr. Boyer phoned, I grabbed that pad and the orange pen that was beside it. I wrote down the message just like I promised I would."
There was a loud gasp from the rocking chair. Kevin and his mother turned to April. April’s mouth was a round "O" of surprise. "You used my trick pen," she spluttered5.
"What? Trick? Pen?" her mother asked. Each word was a separate question.
"I...It’s...It looks okay when you write with it." April stumbled over the words. "But when the ink dries, the writing disappears. I was going to take it to school to play a joke on my teacher." She shut her eyes. "Me and my
Kevin looked at his sister. He wanted to say, "Joke’s on you, April Fool," but the words wouldn’t come out. Instead he said, "There’s another competition next week, isn’t there?"
April nodded and managed a weak smile.
下一页：中文翻译
愚人节傻瓜
[参考译文]
凯文一骨碌爬起身，脑袋几乎撞到了床上方的架子上。有人正猛敲卧室的门。
"凯文！ 该起来了，" 他听到他的妹妹在喊。" 快点儿！ 你又睡着了。 "
凯文跌跌撞撞地来到门前，猛地拉开。艾普尔正站在客厅中。
" 快点儿！" 她喊道。 " 你要迟到了。" 凯文从她身旁一跃而过，冲下楼去。厨房里空无一人。整个房子漆黑寂静。凯文打开房灯，瞟了一眼挂钟。刚刚早上6点钟！ 冰箱旁的日历引起了他的注意。 本月的第一天标着一个大红圈。凯文不禁发出一声呻吟。
身后的艾普尔咯咯地笑了起来。 " 愚人节傻瓜！"当凯文转身之际，艾普尔开始取笑他。" 我到底骗了你一回，正如我许诺的一样。" 说着话，她来了个拿大顶，头朝下对着凯文嗤笑。
凯文反转身，双脚重重地踏在了楼梯上。回到床上，满脑子都是妹妹的影像。艾普尔 贝特曼，既是一名体操专家，又是一位恶作剧大王。她令每一个人都感到发疯。她从来都是能不走路就不走路，取而代之的是蹦、跳，或者翻跟头。她从不放过每一个戏弄别人的机会。当然了，愚人节是艾普尔一年中最得意的一天。
那天早上，贝特曼先生发现他的鞋系不上了，剃须刀也不转了，原来有人把他的鞋带和剃须刀中的电池给卸走了。贝特曼太太在厨房桌子中央发现了一只巨大的蜘蛛。惊慌之中，她掉落了两个半煮熟蛋，又打翻了一个橙汁罐，随后才发现那只蜘蛛竟是一个塑料玩意儿。凯文也发现他的一件T恤衫从里到外翻了个个儿。
“艾普尔哪儿去了？”吃早餐时凯文向家人问道。
" 她去体育馆晨练去了，" 父亲答道。
" 今天下午在Y 处有一个体操比赛，" 母亲一边在面包上涂黄油一边说着。 "艾普尔可一直憋着拿冠军呢。"
凯文中午回家时，母亲急匆匆地走进厨房。 "凯文，艾普尔的教练练刚才来电话了。比赛可能会换在另一个地方举行。如果是这样的话，博耶先生会在12：30 以前打电话通知。 "她停了一下，喘了口气。"现在是12：00。我一刻钟后要去趟办公室。如果博耶先生来电话，给我留个条。 " 她指了指电话机旁的便笺接着说，"凯文，这非常重要。 一定要记下来。 " " 相信我，妈妈，" 凯文回答说。 " 我保证办好。"
母亲刚离开，电话铃就响了。 正是博耶先生。 " 比赛已经被从Y 处改成欧克维尔竞技场了，" 他解释说。凯文边听边记下新的地址和路线。 " 一定要留个条让你妈妈看到，凯文。" 博耶先生又补充了一句。
篇二：关于愚人节的作文：真的愚人,真的傻瓜
关于愚人节的作文：真的愚人，真的傻瓜
他和她都是大学校园里常见的漂亮孩子，同系不同级，经常在一起打球聊天，泡阅览室，渐渐有了感情，只是不曾说破。男孩子想找个机会确定一下这段感情，最后，选了愚人节这一天，心想，即使被她拒绝，也不至于太下不来台，反正这一天有好多话是可信可不信的。他笑着对女孩说：“今天晚上我在楼下等你吧，我们一起去参加愚人节的舞会。”女孩也笑着说：“好吧。”这天晚上，男孩早早地来了。他没有像其他男孩那样站在楼门口，而是站在了楼前那片树影里。这样可以清楚地看见女孩宿舍的窗口，又省得别人瞧见自己，只要女孩一出来，他就会马上发现她。可女孩的窗口却黑着灯，男孩猜她一定是出去办什么事去了，很快就回来，就一直在那儿等着。女生楼的楼门口一到晚上就上演一幕幕悲喜剧，男孩子们翘首等待自己心爱的女孩。男孩看着他们一对对地离去，女孩窗口的灯却始终没有亮起来，一直等到熄灯时间，女孩也没有出现。
男孩的心失望得如同北风里的树干，心想，她真是将我的话当成戏言，可见心里从来就不曾有我呵。平日很少沾酒的男孩拽着朋友去买啤酒，大醉而归。第二天见到女孩，男孩很想问她昨晚干什么去了，但女孩一副若无其事的样子，男孩也就没有开口，那一天是愚人节，说的话又怎能当真呢？渐渐两个人在一起的时间少了，那个话题竟再也没有被提起。
毕业后两人各奔东西，像所有故事一样，再聚首已是六年以后。他已经是孩子的父亲，她也已经为人妇。酒到微醺，他邀她共舞，问：“那天晚上你为什么要和我开玩笑？我等了你整整一个晚上。”她不回答，低首之间已是泪流满面，她说：“今天不是愚人节，也请你不要再愚弄我。那天晚上我们本来说好一起去看通宵电影，我没去。她们走了之后，我关了灯，趴在窗台上看你来了没有，我以为你是认真的。我可真傻呵，那样一个不必承诺的日子，你都不肯有一丁点儿的真诚。我一个人在屋里，哭了整整一夜。”
篇三：愚人节整人笑话
愚人节整人笑话
1、一个消化不良的病人向医生抱怨：我近来很不正常，吃什么拉什么，吃黄瓜拉黄瓜,吃西瓜拉西瓜，怎样才能恢复正常呢?医生沉默片刻，那你只能吃屎了。
2、说你白痴你还认识字，说你傻瓜你还知道生气，说你笨蛋你还知道回短信，说你木头你还知道看手机!祝你愚人节快乐!
3、下班就回家的是穷鬼,9点回家的是酒鬼,11点回家的是色鬼,2-3点回家的是赌鬼,不回家的是野鬼!
4、一天咱俩来到一口许愿井旁，我弯下腰许了一个愿还往井里扔个硬币，你也想许愿但你弯腰时不小心翻入井里，我被惊呆了，喃喃自语道：还真灵嘿!
5、骏马啊，它有四条腿，大海啊，它全是水，看手机的傻子啊，他咧着嘴!
6、难道风真的进了我的眼?难道你真的伤了我的心?我真的哭了耶!怎么会这样?!眼泪止不住地流，更有一种莫明的伤痛——你这个该死的洋葱!
7、人人都赞你帅，可知人家只是说你衰!大家都封你为偶像，可知那仅是呕吐的对象!真不知是因为错手制造了你才制造愚人节，还是因为担心愚人节没人过才制造你!
8、沙僧说我有16变!八戒说我有32变!悟空说我有72变!唐僧大怒：西天路上没见变个电话，人家妖怪都拿手机看短信呢!愚人节快乐!
9、我知道你讲卫生，每次上完厕所都要洗手，而且洗得很仔细。突然一次你没洗，我很奇怪：怎么没洗手?你答曰：这次俺带纸了!愚人节快乐!
10、我说：每想你一次星星就落下一滴泪，大海就是这样形成的。你说：每想我一次你就放一个屁，臭氧层就是这样形成的。愚人节快乐!
11、这是我手机能发的最后一条短信了，最后这条最珍贵的我留给了你，因为有句话我一直想对你说，却没有说出口--帮我充值吧!
12、你都20多了,有些事情也该让你知道了!天,是用来刮风下雨地;地，是用来长花长草地;我，是用来证明人类是多么伟大地;而你呢，就是用来炖粉条地。
13、你长得很抽象!你长得很朦胧!你长得很模糊!你长得很??诡异啊!饶了我吧，我实在描绘不出你的样子，我真没见过鬼。
14、寒冬的早晨，你在池中奋力地划水，蛙泳、仰泳、蝶泳、自由泳，还有令人折服倾倒的潜泳!岸上的老汉急了：“我考!你喝干了粪池子，不让俺种地了!”
广阔的天空任你高飞, 美丽的故事由你发挥, 善良的小孩应该去追, 幽默的短消息发给小乌龟!!!
你以后不要再喝醉了, 昨天又有人看到你端着个酒杯追着一头猪, 嘴里还大叫:是不是兄弟? 是兄弟的干了!
我是一棵孤独的树, 千百年来矗立在路旁, 寂寞的等待, 只为有一天当你从我身边走过时, 为你倾倒, 砸不扁你就算白活了。
天气预报：今天夜间本地区会下人民币，西北方向有时有支票，局部地区还会有金块！气象部门提醒市民备好大麻袋，准备发财！祝愚人节愉快！
可怜的手机用户，非常遗憾，由于您确认了此条短信，所以传染了愚人节细菌。现在细菌衣着统一精神饱满队列整齐，正迈着矫健的步伐通过你的身体??